Eureka

What the endless watering, weeding, and worrying is all about. 

Speaking of worrying, I did more research and it turns out the creature living in my front yard in a very residential big city neighborhood is a groundhog. 

I thought it was chipmunks, until I saw its furry face pop out of the hole one day.  That made me think it was a gopher, 'cos it looked just like the one in Caddyshack.  It turns out they used a groundhog in Caddyshack.  And gophers have the big long teeth and do not hibernate, like my guy does and groundhogs do.

Now I just have to find out how one removes a groundhog to wilder digs, legally and feasibly, as well as affordably.  The 357 Magnum a friend used on a 25-lb chicken-thieving raccoon on his farm way out yonder won't play so well in the city, I suspect...  Plus the groundhog is pretty freaking cute.

And I did watch Caddyshack 5,000 times thanks to little brothers, so I do have a small amount of respect for the adversary...